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1. |
love (haunted as i was)
15:16
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a beautiful end beneath the hellish blue sky
dark like an ocean come crashing down
the world is a horrible place and i will always be afraid to die
...love on the run
i'm not as hungry as i was
i'm not as haunted now because...
i dreamt i was kissing you to death
i was holding you till death do me part
me and this lover's lie
stop
take a sec
is there anybody out there?
you're a little too far out there now
...love on the run
i'm not as hungry as i was
i'm not as haunted now because...
(6 months prior)
are you ready to walk?
do you think you can walk
back to your car for the last time?
i wanted to know, would i see you tomorrow
but i didn't want to stretch the truth
well it's hot outside
and i sweat when i cry and i know that you do too
don't look away, you got something to say
i know it cause i know you
are you ready to walk, the hardest walk
back to our cars for the last time?
just look at yours, and look at mine
yeah i parked right next to you
we get closer to them and you say what you're thinking
will i ever ever kiss you again
no you don't get to say that
oh why would you say that
you just wanted me for...
i'm winding down
i'm coming back down
to the ground on which this relationship stands
i forgive you
oh i who forget
words do not lend well to confessions like this
(3 months prior)
hey, were you there at the play
yeah i think that i saw you there
you were holding your face
and me in the back seat of my car
i'm holding my face in my hands
and there's sweat coming down from my eyes
oh yeah, do you realize?
i might as well call this song an apostrophe
i'm talking to someone who won't ever talk back
who won't ever talk back
but what is love? baby don't hurt me
baby don't hurt me no more
all my favorite bands broke up before i could see them live
and all my best friends went to different schools
and we didn't keep up online
then my parents almost got divorced but then they compromised
we are what we are
and we're nothing like them
we are what we are
what if we're just like them?
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2. |
one horse race
06:26
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you know that i need sleep at night
i want to believe that there isn't nobody but you and me
and all the time i'm sitting here and thinking about your life
and you are me in a dream
you are me in a dream
you are me in a dream
i was a girl in a dream
i was a girl in a dream
i was a girl in some kinda fucked up fantasy
and you were me in some kinda fucked up fantasy
and i was a girl in some dream
you were a boy in some kinda fucked up dream i had
oh yeah, so we meet again in the frigid air
on a wave of my brown hair
old trivialities and cold frivolity
i am the worst
volatile, susceptible, and not very capable
all of them working towards destroying
the illusion of me as a kid in a room where i feel at home
imagine that
you were once the only one
you'd come and go before the show
you said you'd won
the night is sometimes scary
the night is sometimes scary
went outside and saw the weather was fair
but what happened there today wasn't really that fair
went outside and saw the weather was nice
and i'm thinking that maybe i'm too fucking nice
i don't care
experimental music,
experimental love,
the music you love
the _____ you love
i miss you
when i am with you
it's something about
how i cannot
touch you
are we apart
oh show me
show me on the inside
that you believe that we don't belong together
i'm dying oh
help me
i can help myself
help me
i can help myself if i love myself but i don't
i guess i wanted to know that you would be there
but you weren't there
i wanted to know that you would be there
but you weren't there
this is not a test of faith
this is not a test of faith
this is not a test of faith
this is not a test of face
this is not a one horse race
this is not a one horse race
this is not a one horse race
this is not a one horse race
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3. |
wanna 69
03:12
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baby come back you can blame it all on me
i've ardy' taken care of everything
but i don't know if i'm a boy or if i'm a girl
and i don't care if you're a girl or if you're a boy
because i think of us as two human beings
who will be together despite gender identity
i wanna 69 with you
over and over and over again
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4. |
stale affection
02:36
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nothing you can say will comfort me
just put your arms around my body
i'm starring so hard off into space
that i'm floating through the air
and i'm floating through the space
nothing we can do to make it feel new
just give it our all and follow through
i'm trying so hard not to fall from your grace
that i'm floating through the air
and i'm falling from your grace
we you hold my hand when i cry
you make me feel ten miles high
and i know all my doubts are gone
with the weight of love
we you hold my hand when i cry
you make me feel ten miles high
and i know all my doubts are gone
with the weight of love
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5. |
hungover
05:54
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has it ever been so morning?
how is everyone? i just woke up
from a dream of you and a dream of me
oh nothin' but a fantasy
do you still believe in reality,
oh baby come back to me
do you still believe in reality,
oh baby come back to me
has it ever been so morning?
how is everyone? i just woke up
do i dare open my laptop screen
oh baby come back to me
it's hard to believe in reality-nah nah nah nah nah...
it'll all be over soon
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6. |
confession
14:00
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hey you
i know it's getting kinda late
but please won't you stay
i know it's getting kinda late
but i need you to stay
love on the run im not as hungry as i was
i fell in love with my heartbreak
im gettin out of the city
i felt smart with my heart broke
i know i've never been pretty
but i can't pack my bags without lookin back
so clean my glass and face the facts
wish hadnt wrote like a thousand tracks
complaining bout you, bout startin new
but here's my new truth
dont wanna redo, don't wanna ghost you
just wanna sit aside and wait till post-youth
cause right now my mind's dillusional
i repeat the same lies till they're canonical
im addicted to the past, it's not denial
we can be friends, it's been a while
i shouldve been able to move on by now
but i guess im just a fucking child
with my thoughts runnin a thousand miles an hour thru my head
and out the other end till im dead
i never truly knew the words i sung
cause i bastardized our love
and i apologize hereof
man im sorry for the first time
when i changed your mind
and im sorry for the second time
when i let you change mine
i can't even text you frequently enough now
to call you my friend
i guess we're at forever's end
i guess we're at forever's end
i fell in love with my heartbreak
im gettin out of the city
i felt smart with my heart broke
i know i've never been pretty
i was in love for the first time
i was blinded by my mind
we coulda drug it out longer
but you were right to draw the line
i wish i hadnt wrote the first album
all i did was whine
i wish i hadnt done the second one
it was made to make you cry
i wish i hadnt started this one
cause i just want it to end
yet im sitting here again, ow
breakin open old wounds
i took a test on bdsm
it said i'm a masochist at the end
oh who am i
without you
i gotta redfine myself
as someone to believe in
someone with a future
more important than the past
i got pretty healthy life now
don't you know it's gunna last
ive gone a whole two months
without even---
???
i hope that most of you are gone
most of me is gunna be gone
by the end of this song
i gotta break my ego down
so that i can finally get around
to confessing the stress that's been depressing me
i'm sorry i can't text you
it probably doesn't matter much at this point
i'm sorry i can't interact with you
in any way, but it probably doesn't matter anyway
i'm afraid that doing anything with you
will make me relapse and i will use that
to feel bad about myself
i'm immature from the bottom of my heart
i'm working on breaking myself down
and rebuilding someone i can be proud of
from the ground up to my brow
???
i hope that i can change
i don't want you to fall away from my life
we've got so much in common
i hope i can change
i don't want anything to stay the same
because right now it's stressing me out every single gawd damn day
my friendships are falling apart
i hope i can change my heart
there's so much wrong inside my head that most of the time i just wanna be dead
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7. |
over the state line
05:01
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(down be the river
he shot his baby)
down by the water
i'm shaking my head
as someone points to the river
and says that's where you shot your baby dead
i said no this ain't no travesty we're not car seat headrest
we're the trashships sailing the bright green sea, yo
my bonnie lies over the state line
she comes to visit sometimes
my baby lives in another city
and on week nights she calls me
oh get me out of here
i'm feeling down
oh bring me back to
when my baby was around
my bonnie lies over the state line
sometimes i call her on week nights
somebody's going to bed tonight
it's probably not me so i hope it's you
my bonnie lies over the phone line
somebody's falling for you tonight
i fall for you every night
from when we say good night to when....
my bonnie lies over the state line
she comes to visit sometimes
my baby lives in another city
and if home is where the heart is
then home is wherever she goes to college
and if cliches ever meant anything
they definitely mean something today
just take me back home
my bonnie lies over the state line
she comes to visit sometimes
my baby lives in another city
and on week nights she calls me
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8. |
shipping season
03:02
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my friend once asked me
is there meaning in lust?
i said all there is is dust
at the bottom of a mug made with love
in a sun-fire oven and a lingering hug
that maybe means some stuff
but now i'm thinkin' bout my boy
and the way her face is shaped
how her high cheek bones
cast shadows on her face
and i love the way her lips part
when they're about to kiss
and her cute little breaths
dry out my lips
but if it's not love
and it's lust that you need
i guess you move on,
there's other fish in the sea
and if it's not lust
and it's love that you need
well life rolls on
in the bright green sea
the waters are wild tonight
we're like a kid couple
on the deck of a sinking vessel
and i'll sound the alarm
this ship is going down
she's going off to college
gunna leave her home town
if i had my way
i'd fight to see her stay
but there's only room
in this life boat and it's you
love is nothing,
if exclusive to perfect weather
and things that last forever
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9. |
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in summer nights love is life
and feeling the top of your head when we drive
because it's hard to put my arms around you in the car
if we drove together we would never get home
and if we checked the weather it was always be colder
than it is in your arms
in winter time the tv's a fire
and we lay on your couch despite how we perspire
because the warmth of our bodies is a storm
if we slept together we would never sleep
and if we had a shower we would never be clean
cause the lust is too much to resist your touch
when love is life the days turn to nights
and the other things in your life will fade into grey
oh the lights will be on when you get home
cause if we lived together we would share a bed
and if we were forever we would always hold hands
in the street where we meet
if we lived together we would share a room
and if we were forever i would see you soon
be alone no more
and if we lived together we would share a home
and if we were forever we would share a heart
be alone no more
cause when love is life never let the time pass you by
we'll make every day feel like a first date
and if the song is too long well just sing along
to the tune of "andrew in drag"
we can make this thing last
for another day
or another week
while we try not to think what it'll be like when you leave
we can drive away
over the state line, what's on your mind
while we try not to feel when it gets too real
and if you're up for a date
and not down with the fate
and we're still more than just friends
i'll see you again, in a couple of years...
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10. |
this is the hard part
05:17
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when life pulls us apart
i sing oh oh yeah
i'll see you soon
and you will be gone in the morning
and i won't see you again till the holiday
and by then will we have been apart for too long
oh no oh yeah oh no oh yeah
and summer will be spent together or not at all
this is the hard part
please don't worry
you and me won't be alone
and when you come home will you be available
what if i'm just waiting for the day that you call me to say
you found somebody else
who are we
who are we
who am i to make you wait
this is the hard part
please don't worry
you and me won't be alone
this is the hard part
please don't worry
you and me won't be alone
this is the hard part
at night I'll be driving under the stars
to come and see you
and i'll say
oh yeah, oh yeah
i'll see you soon
but what will such distance do
to our relationship
if i don't see you for a hundred days
how much can you change
over once in december
and a couple times in the summer
and then you'll go back
to whichever city you've escaped to
and i'll go home
to be alone
and i'll cry myself to sleep
and my eyes will get more week
and i'll wake up and be blind
and i won't be able to feel my thighs
and i'll look up at the ceiling and think
what the fuck is this gunna do to me
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11. |
i miss uuu
05:25
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i turn my head and look in your eyes
as you place your hand right on my thigh
and i move my legs right next to yours and i..i..i
i want my old life, i'm used to you, to die tonight
won't waste no time
don't waste my time
don't waste my time
don't waste my time
don't waste my time
when it's late at night and i'm laying in bed
and texting you and you leave me on read
do you know what i'm thinking of
do you still love me baby, i do
three albums in, i swear i'm done
putting all of this on you
i never meant for you to get
hurt by my emotions
i know it wasn't just all your fault
i am a fucking asshole too
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12. |
something strange
02:13
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you never tell me when you go out of town
i made an evening out of being let down
oh tell me when
tell me where
tell me how
tell me why
tell me who
don't know why but it's hard to think about you
might be something bout' not talking to you
oh be aware
be scared
be a'feared
be a fool
be you
i don't know why you even put up with me
sometimes i can barely put up with you
something's changed
something's strange
something failed
someone save something soon
for the sake of future mes and yous
but hold on don't turn around i'll look down
double back and try not to have a frown
when you come back to town
who was the martyr of the last time
and who was the fearless of the first time
and who got tired this time
this is the last good night
don't tell me you're freighhtened
i don't want to be lightened by the load
of your heartbreak on my head in the middle of the night
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13. |
you're all i know
03:34
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man it takes me back
to the summer of two-thousand-twelve
and why it was hell
when i sit alone
and watch movies on my cell phone
without your arm around me i can feel my heart beat so slowly
man i feel like shit
but sometimes i'm okay with it
when you're all that i know
i want you to know
that i feel like it
is never gunna change with us
but you're all that i know
so i hope you feel like shit
but sometimes i'm okay with shit
when you're all that i know
i want you to know
that i feel like it
is never gunna change with us
but you're all that i know so i hope it does
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14. |
cum on the ground
05:47
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saw it come to me
in a vision a dream
one night when we slept with the lights on
and i held myself close, but i held you closer
as i said i know the number of my days now
but i feel sick when i tell you this
because i can't cope with the feeling
of not feeling in control of my health
and i always thought i'd live forever
and you would live forever too
because we have so much that
we always wanted to do
and my dreams
my dreams
what if they never come true
cause that's the truth
and we might as well just fall down to the ground
together in a grave, fuck
i hate myself
you said you hate yourself too last night
so i guess it's alright to just die together
like in drop-out the comic
we'll go off to the grand canyon
and jump off together
we'll hold hands
i'm not suicidal
i just want to make sure that i'll be with you for eternity
and that's a lot to ask, but i don't care, i just...
i wan't you there when they bury me
hold me baby
i wan't you there when they bury me
relax
take a weight off your back
it's not over
it's not over yet
you gotta
take a weight off your back
and lay down
lay down
gotta
gotta get on the ground
gotta get on the ground
gotta get on the ground
gotta cum on the ground
i'd a-cum on the ground
i'm a-sit on the ground
and i will find you the sound
that i wanted to tell you when i felt like i would die
every
other
fucking
night
i'm a-lay on my bed and wait for the death
think about what it'd be like
to fall asleep and never wake up
then i'd cum on the ground
and i'd cum on the ground
i'm ready for the ground
so hold me baby
oh, hold me bae
somebody once told me
the world was gunna roll me
said i ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
was lookin' kinda gay with my finger up my butt
in the shower i came on the ground
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15. |
breakup over text
01:58
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in the morning the sun will rise
smiling like a grave surprise
the preachers say this too shall pass
but where is their god in the aftermath
through the storming the people sing
foreign words from a rapper's dream
all that's left in the aftermath is the deadlock heart of a stalling car
rolling down a cliff into a shallow ditch
i'm the driver i can't pay for this
thinkin' bout' my life makes me cry
and thinkin' bout' the world makes me nervous
i don't need to know why
i just wanna be a drone and let go
i need a religion that takes me far away
from my phone you let me go
too soon in the night
but it'll be alright
cause in the end we'll find new friends
that'll let us walk all over them
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16. |
time is all i need
12:06
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i still think of you when i fall asleep
i wanna be in your arms
instead of the dark
i sold my heart to you, baby
don't tell me yeah maybe
we will find each other again
maybe we'll go on a trip in a few years
and then we will fall in love again
cause we'll always be friends
that's what you tell me all the time
but what do you mean when you look at me
and you hug me like we always used to do
how lovely for the sun to play us out
but in the morning
i'm still on the edge
how lovely for the sun to play us out
but in the morning
i'm still on the edge
how lovely for the sun to play us out
but in the morning
i'm still on the edge
how timely for the sound to all die down
when they're most likely
still in my head
how quickly for the sun to settle in dusk
leave if you must
i'll always trust my heart in you
how lonely midnight after today
do you find it harder to lay
alone without knowing you're someone's?
in due time the realization
that the past is the past
and you can never go back
like heart shaped statues that block the path
one steps out and says do the math today
all things said i wish you farewell
i'll let you know what hell is like these days
life rolls on in the bright green sea
i'm a yellow submarine
but time is all i need
love rolls harder than its ever before
one, two, three, four,
i want so much more
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17. |
forever's end
04:54
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my boy
thanks for all the joy
don't worry
about the pain you left in me
goodbye
i hope for not ten years
in two months
i wanna get back in touch
but won't you call me
before you just get rid of me
and though you say it's what you want
will you want it forever?
compassionate until the end
i'm like man's best best friend
i've got tears for good things
and fears for the bad ones
i just wanna love you
compassionate until the end
you're like my best best friend
we've had years of good times
and a couple of bad ones
but it's the in-between that i'll miss
waking up in your bed
eating cereal and watching friends
and going to the store on a monday night
and taking you with me
and getting food for your dinner date
and eating with you
and going to sleep
and waking up
knowing you're
still thinking of me
at the same time i'm thinking of you
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